


Anyone Down To Take Couples Therapy?

by zombie_honeymoon



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Karin - minor role, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:27:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29269473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombie_honeymoon/pseuds/zombie_honeymoon
Summary: Hidan wakes up with a hangover and a message that someone is willing to take him up on his offer, the only thing is, he has no idea what they're talking about until he looks at his twitter and sees that Deidara posted something while they were drunk the night before.or...Hidan and Kakuzu pretend to be a couple and go to couples therapy to see how long it takes before the therapist notices they don't even know each other.
Relationships: Deidara & Hidan (Naruto), Hidan/Kakuzu (Naruto)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 62





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a kakuhida server event for Valentine's Day, the prompt was Fake Dating. Yes. it was inspired by a screenshot of a twitter post I saw on tumblr. 
> 
> Chapter two to be posted next weekend. Please enjoy, it's just a silly fic I wrote for fun.

Rolling over in bed, Hidan groaned. His head pounded and he felt like he might be sick. Too much drinking the night before with Deidara. They’d had fun though, of course. They always did, and Hidan knew no matter how many times he woke up hungover, swearing to never drink that much again, he’d still do it. 

At least he’d gotten in the habit of putting some water next to his bed, and reached for it then, nearly knocking it over before sitting up enough to drink it. It felt good going down his parched throat, and with nothing better to do he laid back down to fall back asleep. 

Until his phone buzzed under his pillow and woke him up an hour later. Reaching for it he cracked an eye open to see it was a DM on twitter. From someone he didn’t recognize the username of and never would have followed based on that alone. 

“Huh… well fuck that, whoever it is can wait…” He could barely read the screen and wasn’t dealing with random messages. Probably someone saw the half naked picture Deidara posted for him the night before, “People always thirsty for me… and I’m just thirsty...” he mumbled, sliding his phone to silent and then tossed it somewhere. He took another drink of water and went back to sleep.

The next time Hidan woke it was the afternoon and he finished his glass of water and got up to use the bathroom and shower. Feeling better now that he was all cleaned up, he moved back to the bedroom with nothing but a towel around his waist, found his phone and sat down to see who messaged him. 

“Kakuzu Moneymaker. What the fuck kinda name is that?” Hidan rolled his eyes but made an appreciative sound when he checked out his profile picture. Nice jaw line, long hair pulled back in a messy bun and he looked damn good in a suit, “if that’s even him…” He’d been catfished before, so he didn't get his hopes up and went to read the message.

_‘I’ll take you up on your offer. Where do you want to do this at? Send me the location, date and time.’_

“Offer? The fuck’s he talkin’ about?” Hidan set his phone down and got up from the bed, letting his towel fall to the floor as he crossed the room to get dressed. 

* * *

Fully clothed with a plate of heated up leftovers in front of him, Hidan checked his phone just as he got another DM from Kakuzu.

_‘I’m serious, or was it a joke?’_

“Alright, alright, what’s he going on about?” Hidan racked his brain trying to think about what it could be. Deidara had taken his phone at one point, and posted a selfie Hidan had taken in the mirror after a shower. What else had he posted? Hidan quickly checked his profile and choked on his bite of chicken.

_‘Anyone down to take couples therapy to see how long it takes the therapist to realize we don’t even know each other? 25$ every session until they figure it out! DM if interested’_

So, someone thought he was serious? Well, why not have a little fun then? Hidan typed up a _‘No, totally serious. I’m bored and have more money than I know what to do with.’_

_‘What a dreadful problem, I can help you with that if you want.’_

_‘Nah, it’s a problem I have to deal with on my own. You know I’m a dude right?’_

_‘I figured as much from your pictures. And I don’t care. Just let me know when and where.’_

_‘Your name really ‘Moneymaker’?’_

_‘Is yours really ‘Cocklover’?’_

Cocklover? What the fuck? “Deidara!” Hidan slammed his phone down on the table, “That’s the last time I go out drinking with him!” (It would not be, but Hidan didn’t know that.) 

* * *

Hidan set up an appointment for couples therapy three days later. All he knew about Kakuzu was what he might look like from his profile picture (the man had refused to send him a picture). His twitter account had no actual posts on it but he retweeted tips for the stock market and other investment ideas. Hidan figured it was most likely for himself and thought he must be rather boring. But not boring enough to pass up attending couples therapy with a stranger.

Arriving fifteen minutes early, with Deidara in tow, they waited outside the building for Kakuzu to show up.

“Ten bucks says he won’t come.” Deidara said after ten minutes passed.

“Twenty five says he does.” Hidan stuck his tongue out when Deidara caught on that that was the amount Kakuzu would make if the therapist didn’t know they didn’t even know each other.

While they were arguing and becoming increasingly more physical, and just as Hidan shoved Deidara, a voice startled them.

“You must be Hidan. You actually look like your pictures. Surprisingly.” 

Hidan and Deidara stopped their pushing and shoving match to look up at the large figure. He wore a suit with a black tie Hidan thought he’d like to get tied up with later and he said so before thinking twice about it.

“We’re going to be late, say bye to your boyfriend and you’ll see him in an hour.” Kakuzu smirked at Deidara’s outraged face.

“He’s not my boyfriend! That’d be like kissing my mom!”  
  
“Your mom?! I'm like your mom?!” Hidan cried out but before he could say more Kakuzu reminded him that they had an appointment to keep but Deidara didn’t seem to care.

“The way you’re always ‘do you need new socks, Deidara?’ and ‘did you have enough left over after paying rent for groceries, Dei?’ So yeah, it would be like kissing my mom!” 

“But… I don’t want you going hungry.”

Kakuzu eyed Hidan a moment before saying, “Let’s go.” Kakuzu walked towards the doors of the building and didn’t wait for Hidan, walking inside and letting the doors close on him, a barely concealed smirk on his face when Hidan nearly got hit in the face with them. 

* * *

“Pay up,” Kakuzu had the smuggest look Hidan had ever seen on his handsome face and he wanted to wipe it right off but instead dug into his back pocket for his wallet and took out several bills to equal twenty five dollars.

“That’s two hundred and seventy five bucks now!” Hidan slapped the money into Kakuzu’s outstretched hand.

“Who knew it would be so easy?” Kakuzu shrugged as he counted the money before neatly folding it and putting it into his own wallet.

“Well… see you next week?” Hidan asked, feeling like he wanted to keep Kakuzu talking, not really wanting to part ways. He had looked forward to their counseling sessions more and more, secretly pleased when their therapist didn’t seem to catch on that they knew nothing about each other. 

“Actually… we might have to skip next week.” 

Oh. 

His heart sank and he hated that he had come to look forward to their hour together so much. It was a bit of a problem, he realized, casting his eyes at the ground, kicking at some imaginary rock.  
  
“I have to travel for business and--”  
  
“Hidan, Kakuzu,” their therapist greeted them with a nod as she walked out of the building and took a seat on a nearby bench to have her lunch. 

Kakuzu said a polite hello while Hidan gave her a nod before turning back to Kakuzu, and sounded as wounded as he could as he said, “So, you’re going out of town for business and haven’t told me?” 

Kakuzu looked confused at that, “Why would I tell you?” 

“Oh, I don’t know, because we’re in a fucking serious relationship! So serious we're going to couples therapy for our problems!” He crossed his arms over his chest, his back to the therapist, and he threw a wink to Kakuzu to play along.

“We’re about to end this nonsense right here and now if you don’t knock it off,” Kakuzu warned as he took out his phone, “I have to go. I’m meeting someone for lunch--”  
  
“Lunch?” Hidan perked up at that, his stomach growling loudly, “Can I come, too? I’m starving!” 

Not answering for so long Hidan thought Kakuzu would tell him no and he had almost resigned himself to getting something from the freezer section of the liquor store by his apartment, but then Kakuzu nodded, “Alright, let’s go, you’re practically paying at this point. I parked over here.” Without waiting to see if Hidan was following, Kakuzu started towards where he had parked. 

With a grin, Hidan glanced at their therapist who was watching them curiously, and then jogged after Kakuzu to catch up.

* * *

Kakuzu slid into the booth next to Hidan, sitting so close their thighs and shoulders were touching and Hidan could feel the heat radiate off him. He was about to ask why they were so close, not that he minded, when a young woman with bright red hair sat down opposite them. Hidan had noticed her low cut blouse and tight pants right away and wondered just what kind of business Kakuzu was in. 

“Miss Uzumaki,” Kakuzu greeted her, and Hidan watched as she leaned forward, a blush on her cheeks as she greeted him back with a flirtatious smile.

“Kakuzu, nice to see you again. Call me Karin. How many times do I have to tell you?” Her eyes flit over to Hidan and back to Kakuzu, “Are you going to introduce me to your handsome friend?”

“Of course,” Kakuzu said, looping an arm around Hidan’s shoulders with ease, as if they’d done it a hundred times before, “Karin, meet my partner, Hidan. Hidan, meet Karin, an associate of mine. We’re working on a project together.”  
  
So that was why Kakuzu had so easily agreed to allow Hidan to join him for lunch. Well, he wasn’t all that put out about it, and leaned into Kakuzu’s side, inhaling the scent of him and letting his arm go around Kakuzu’s waist, “Nice to meet you, Karin. I’ve heard so much about you.” If they could lie to a therapist for months, he could lie a little more.

“Hope it was good things. And I’ve heard about you, too, but was beginning to think you might not exist.” Karin told him regretfully, then looked over at Kakuzu, “So that’s why you stopped taking me up on my offers to get drinks together after work… you got together with him,” she looked back at Hidan, “At least you’re hot, which is exactly what Kakuzu deserves!” She sighed and sat back in her seat, “Alright, let’s order lunch and we can go over the accounts. I finally made contact with the Uchiha’s and set you up to have lunch with the son, Itachi Uchiha. He’s the one everyone has to go through to get a meeting with Madara.”  
  
Kakuzu left his arm where it was around Hidan’s shoulder and Hidan took full advantage of it by resting his head lovingly on Kakuzu’s shoulder like he belonged there while Karin and Kakuzu discussed business, and he looked over the menu. It was a pretty nice place and Hidan had every intention of treating himself when the waitress came to take their order. 

Karin ordered first, okonomiyaki, and Hidan thought that sounded good and hadn't had one in a while but wasn’t going to change his mind on what he was going to ask for. 

Kakuzu ordered next, getting the salmon sashimi and then looked to Hidan who looked like a kid in a candy store. 

“Bar-b-que short ribs!” He hadn’t had them in so long and his mouth was already watering at the thought.

“Want a coloring page, too?” Kakuzu asked just to tease him and watched as Hidan’s cheeks flushed a vivid red.

“Wow, no need to be a dick! I like meat, alright?” He went to move away but was trapped between Kakuzu’s large form, his arm still around his shoulders, and the wall.

“You do, don't you?” Kakuzu's voice was deep and low and Hidan could feel the vibrations from it roll through his body.

After a brief staring contest, Hidan let out a huff. There were worse places he could wind up, and he thought that he would very much enjoy being caught between Kakuzu’s body and a wall again… 

Clearing his throat, Kakuzu looked away first to find Karin watching them, and warned her, “Not a word.” 

“I didn’t say anything!”   
  
“You were thinking something!”  
  
“I was. Well, anyways. Your lunch with Itachi is next Saturday and--”  
  
“I can’t make it. I’m flying out that day to meet with Sabaku to try and close the deal with him.”  
  
“But… what’ll we do?!” Karin flipped open her planner to skim over all the notes she had written and dates she had filled in all while Kakuzu sighed and grumbled to himself. “How did I miss that…? Kakuzu… this is a disaster! You know how hard it is to get them to agree to anything!”  
  
After watching them panic for several minutes, Hidan spoke up. “So why don’t you meet with him, Karin? You two work together, you can speak for the company, or at least say whatever shit Kakuzu tells you, right? So just go in his place.” He thought it was simple, “Or send someone who can.” 

They both looked at him and Kakuzu nodded slowly, “He has a point.”  
  
“You’re not serious?”  
  
“No, I am. You know more about this project than anyone else other than me. I trust you can handle lunch with Itachi and not screw it up.” 

“Lunch with Itachi Uchiha,” Karin said in a dreamy voice, “I won't let you down, Kakuzu!”

Their lunches arrived and Kakuzu removed his arm from Hidan, who made a sad little sound and then covered it up with a cough before digging into his ribs. 

As soon as she was finished eating, Karin thanked Kakuzu for lunch, for trusting her with Itachi, told Hidan she hoped he enjoyed the accommodations in Suna, and took off back to the office, leaving Kakuzu and Hidan alone. 

“So… when do we leave for that trip?” Hidan asked, his hand resting lightly on Kakuzu’s forearm, his thumb absentmindedly tracing slow, small circles there.

“Saturday afternoon,” Kakuzu told him, his voice quiet, enjoying the way Hidan looked at him, the smile that spread across his face, the way Hidan inched just a _little_ closer and his magenta eyes flickered down to his lips. 

“Wait.” Kakuzu sat back, blinking, breaking whatever spell had fallen over them, _“We_ aren’t going anywhere. Because all of this… it’s just a game.”  
  
“Karin said I was going… and….” Hidan felt like he’d been punched in the gut and the room tilted. It _was_ just a game. Something Deidara cooked up in his drunken mind in a bar in the middle of the night. Something for shits and giggles. Then why did it hurt so much to be reminded of that? 

“Hidan, you didn’t think…?” But it was obvious by the look on Hidan’s face that he _did_ think he was going to get to go and that maybe it wasn't as much of a game as it was.

“I think I’ve had enough of this game. Nonsense, right? That’s what you called it.” Motioning for Kakuzu to get up because he didn’t want, or didn’t trust, himself to touch him, Hidan just wanted to go home. Angry tears burned his eyes. What a fucking idiot he was! 

“Hidan…”  
  
“No. Get the fuck up before I shove you on your ass.” 

“You want to leave, fine,” Kakuzu growled as he slid out of the booth, “I never should have brought you with me today.”  
  
“Yeah, but I think you just wanted to use me to get that girl to back off, huh? Am I right? She’s probably been trying to get you in bed, hasn’t she? Or maybe she already has and she was hoping for something more serious.” Hidan didn’t think there was anything wrong with any of that. Karin was a pretty young woman and Kakuzu was a good looking older man who seemed to have his shit together. Who wouldn’t want that? Not that he was going to admit it out loud but he sure did. “You told her about me, that we were together and brought me here to prove it. Right?”  
  
“Just go home, Hidan.” 

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Hidan stalked out of the restaurant but as soon as he stepped out the door he threw his hands in the air with a curse, “Aw, shit! I drove here with him!” They were across town. His car was at his apartment building and Deidara was working and wouldn’t be able to pick him up. And no way was he taking the bus. The last time didn’t end so well for him and he was not about to repeat that.

Looking over his shoulder through the glass doors, he saw Kakuzu heading his way, and Hidan started walking down the sidewalk to put some distance between them.

A block away, a car drove up beside the curb, the window down, “Hidan, get in and I’ll give you a ride!”  
  
“No!”  
  
“Hidan!”  
  
“Go away!” 

Walking faster, Hidan was about to reach the corner to cross the street but Kakuzu sped up and got there first, blocking his way, “Get in the damn car!”  
  
After a quick hesitation, Hidan opened the door, got in and slammed it shut, avoiding looking at Kakuzu by keeping his face turned towards the side window. “I could’ve walked home on my own.”  
  
“I’m sure you could. But you were going the wrong way.” 

_“Fuck…”_

Silence. Then, “Wait, how do you know where I live?!”  
  
“I did a little digging on you before we met. Wanted to make sure you weren’t dangerous.”  
  
Hidan scoffed at that, “Like you can’t take care of yourself, you’re built like a fuckin’ tank over there...” 

“Of course I can take care of myself,” Kakuzu made a U-turn so that he could turn back out on the main street in the right direction, “I needed to know you weren’t working for a rival company is all.” 

“I don’t work at all.”  
  
“I know. I know a lot about you, but most of it’s what I’ve learned from our counseling sessions, and watching you and Deidara just so you know.” 

The rest of the drive was in silence as Hidan gazed out the window, hurt, embarrassed and angry with himself. 

“So… I guess we’re done with the couple therapy then?” Hidan asked dejectedly as Kakuzu brought the car to a stop in front of his apartment building.

“I think it would be for the best.” 

Getting out of the car, Hidan turned around to shut the door and leaned against the window, looking in at Kakuzu. At least he could get one last look, “Have fun in Suna, I guess, and thanks for lunch.” It had been both the best lunch he’d had in a long time, and also the worst.

“Goodbye, Hidan.” 

Looking over his features, Hidan had spent enough time with the man to know he looked, and sounded, a little sad… 

“If you ever want to do anything stupid, or hang out or whatever, you know how to find me.” 


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confessions was another prompt, so this chapter deals with that.

“You’re acting like you two broke up,” Deidara sighed as he carefully took the half empty drink from Hidan’s hand and put it out of reach. Over the course of the night he had lost track of how many drinks Hidan had had but knew he was way over his limit, “Enough, you’re going to make yourself sick  
  
“I’m so fucking stupid, Dei,” Hidan crossed his arms on the bar and laid his head down, “I _like_ him. A lot. And I thought… but he… called it a game, and…” Hidan closed his eyes as his vision blurred from alcohol and tears, “nonsense. I _paid_ for him to spend time with me… I’m so fucking pathetic!” 

Reaching over, Deidara gently pet the top of Hidan’s head to try and offer him some sort of comfort, “You’re not pathetic. But it was nonsense, and it was a game, right?”  
  
“Oh, you’re a lotta help… maybe I should text him,” Hidan slurred, making no move to get his phone and actually text the man and Deidara thought he might have passed out. Then a few minutes later a magenta eye cracked open, “I feel sick. Take me home?” 

“Great…” Deidara groaned, “Where are your keys?”  
  
Hidan let one arm fall like dead weight to pat his front pocket and allowed Deidara to help him up and out to his car so he could drive him home. 

The walk from the car up to Hidan’s apartment was slow and Deidara had to support most of Hidna’s weight before dropping him into his bed where he curled up on his side with a groan.

“You’re not going to throw up are you? Cause you look like you might and I’m not sticking around to clean that mess up.”  
  
“Don’t think so… but, push that trash can over here just in case.” Hidan waved his hand towards where he thought his trash can was and then kicked his shoes off and started trying to take off his pants before whining, “Help me out here. Can’t… can’t get them off...” 

“Wow, I have to undress you now, too? You’d better have something on under there,” Deidara sighed, placing the trash can next to the side of the bed and then pushing Hidan’s clumsy hands away so he could help him undress. 

“Want me to spend the night? You’re totally wasted. I kinda feel wrong leaving you like this.” 

Hidan mumbled something incoherent and Deidara decided he had better stay, not having seen Hidan in such a state in a long time. By the time he had pulled his jeans off, Hidan was dead to the world so Deidara rolled him onto his side and covered him with the blanket before going to get ready for bed himself and climbing into the other side of Hidan’s king sized bed. 

Laying there, Deidara thought it was kind of sad that Hidan had such a big bed and no one to share it with, his friend was obviously lonely. 

* * *

Early the following morning they were woken from the ringtone of Hidan’s phone, an ear piercing noise in the quiet. Groaning, Hidan could barely open his eyes and when he tried to sit up his stomach lurched and he froze, sinking back down, silently praying he would not get sick.

Deidara sat up, looking for the offensive device, “What the fuck, man… who calls you this early?!”  
  
“Not so loud! And stop moving…” Hidan begged, squeezing his eyes shut and covering his mouth with his hand.

“I’m looking for your damn phone, where…?” He realized the sound was coming from the floor and he crawled off the bed to dig into Hidan’s jeans and answered it.

“What?” Deidara demanded into the phone as Hidan lunged off the bed and towards the bathroom.

“Who is this?” Kakuzu demanded, Deidara recognizing his deep voice immediately.

“It’s Deidara, bitch. I spent the night with Hidan.” He sounded as smug as he could.  
  
Silence, “Give Hidan his phone, I need to talk to him.”  
  
“Well, he’s…” Deidara trailed off, making a face as he heard Hidan getting sick in the bathroom, “he’s puking his guts out right now. I think he’s going to be a while. Ugh, can you hear him?” Deidara turned his head towards the bathroom, _“Disgusting!”_  
  
“What’s wrong with him? Is he sick?” Deidara thought Kakuzu sounded concerned but shrugged it off.  
  
Deidara turned away, wishing Hidan had shut the door, “He’s hung over, drank way too much. Why are _you_ calling? I’ll give him a message. _Maybe._ I’ll think about, hmm.”  
  
“I need him to come with me on my business trip this afternoon.”  
  
“No.” Deidara said without thinking, “That’s a bad idea,” he left the bedroom, shutting the door so Hidan could be sick in private and to block out the noise, “You want to know why he got so drunk? I’ll tell you. It’s because of you.”  
  
“I didn’t do anything.”  
  
“Well, you can think so but you did enough.”  
  
“What are you talking about? I only did what _he_ wanted and we all knew it was a joke!”  
  
“It’s not my place to explain. Hidan is my friend, and I’ll give him your message when he gets out of the bathroom, but I’m going to tell him it’s a bad-- no! A _shitty_ idea and not to go.” Deidara didn’t even wait, just ended the call and took a seat on the couch to wait for Hidan to come out. When he did, he looked like death. Unable to help but to tease him, Deidara just couldn’t keep his mouth shut, “Damn. If that's how you look each morning no wonder you’re still single.” 

“Shut the fuck up…” Hidan collapsed onto the couch, laying his head in Deidara’s lap.

“You alright?”  
  
“No but I’ll live.” And then a few minutes later, Hidan asked, “Who called? Better’ve been an emergency.”  
  
“It was Kakuzu.”  
  
“Oh shit.”  
  
“Yeah,” Deidara’s hand found its way into Hidan’s hair and he ran his fingers gently through it, “he uh, said he needed you to go on his trip with him. I told him it was a bad idea. I’m telling you that it’s a fucking shitty idea.” 

“Did he say why he needed me to go?” Bad idea or not, Hidan wanted to go and was great at making bad decisions.

“Nope. But I’ll tell you why it’s a bad idea. You have feelings for him and were pretending to be a couple as a joke and went to over two months worth of couples therapy together, which is really bizarre just so you know. Your feelings are hurt, maybe even got your heart broke, that was a dick move of him to invite you to lunch like that!”  
  
“Please… not so damn loud…” Hidan groaned and brought his knees up, “My head…”  
  
Deidara lowered his voice as he continued, “You’re hungover and sick. So you’re not going to think straight. As your best friend, it becomes _my_ responsibility to tell you not to go.” 

Hidan made a sad sound and Deidara gently ran his nimble fingers through Hidan's hair, “I know you want to and I can’t stop you, but it’ll only make this whole thing worse if you go. He probably wants to pretend you’re in a relationship for whatever weird reasons. You’d be sharing a hotel room, and while I don’t understand your beliefs, I know they're important to you, and that would be a big temptation for you, a sin as you would say. You’d regret it.” 

Silence followed. Hidan knew he was right, and besides that was in no condition to fly. Deidara picked up Hidan’s phone from where he left it on the cushion beside him.

“Want me to delete his number from your phone for you?”  
  
“No. I want to talk to him myself. I'm not gonna go but, Dei… I _really_ like him.” He had thought that maybe they could get to know each other like normal people, without pretending to be a couple, “Hey… sit still.”  
  
“I’m sitting as still as I can. You drank some water in the bathroom, didn’t you?” Deidara moved his hand to rub Hidan's back and shoulders for him.

“Uh-huh,” Hidan closed his eyes, trying to fall back to sleep, “And you called me your mother. Who’s mothering who now, bitch?”  
  
“I think you’re still drunk, bitch.” 

It was late afternoon by the time Hidan called Kakuzu back only for the call to go directly to voicemail. Not bothering to leave a message, Hidan ended the call, figuring Kakuzu was already on his flight. That, or he didn’t want to hear from him.

Deidara had stayed the rest of the day at Hidan’s, keeping him company, making sure he rehydrated himself and ate something halfway decent. But Hidan also suspected he had also stayed to keep him from crumbling and calling Kakuzu earlier in the day to go on the trip with him. 

He had wanted to go so badly, just to spend time together, maybe get to know him a bit more and see if something might actually happen between them. He felt so sure that there had been something more between them...

Kakuzu never called him back that night, and not for the rest of the weekend either. Hidan had been waiting and hoping, and kept checking his phone but there was nothing. He didn’t even know when Kakuzu would get back, he hadn’t gotten the chance to ask at the restaurant. 

By the following weekend, Hidan had accepted that Kakuzu was likely never calling him back and had come to terms with it though it didn’t make it hurt less. Deidara had been right, and by default, Kakuzu, too. What they had done really was nothing but nonsense, it had just been a game. 

So it surprised him when there was a knock on his door that Sunday afternoon. He hadn’t ordered anything for dinner yet so it wasn't the delivery boy, and his neighbors never bothered him. And it couldn’t be Deidara, who never knocked, had his own key and barged in whenever he felt like it. 

Looking through the peep hole to see Kakuzu standing out in the hallway and his heart jumped to his throat at the sight. Hesitating, wondering why he was there, but knowing there was only one way to find out, Hidan opened the door. 

“Kakuzu?”  
  
“I should have called, but I wanted to see you in person and didn't know if you would want to see me.” 

They stood there staring at one another and the longer they did so, the more awkward it became until Hidan finally invited Kakuzu in, afraid he would leave if he didn't. Stepping aside and opening the door further, Hidan told him, “Come inside.” 

It was as Kakuzu walked past him into his apartment that Hidan noticed he had what looked like a paper shopping bag that one might get from a clothing store, but it was plain white with gold writing he couldn’t read and it was then he realized it was another language. It piqued his curiosity and he tried to get a look inside but whatever it was was hidden by gold tissue paper. Curious, but asking nothing about it, he lead Kakuzu to the living room and motioned for him to sit down somewhere as he took his favorite spot on his couch while Kakuzu sat at the other end of it and set the mystery bag on the floor.

“Hidan, I wanted to call you back but never got the chance on my business trip and when I got back, it’s just been one thing after another I’ve had to take care of.” 

“It’s cool,” Hidan said with a shrug, “I didn’t really expect to hear from you again.” _But I hoped to,_ he added mentally.

“I never expected you to call me back last weekend and was already on the flight when you did. We left things badly and I… I want to apologize. I used you at lunch that day and it was wrong--”  
  
“So I was right about that then.”  
  
Kakuzu didn’t bother to respond one way or another but looked guilty, which was answer enough for Hidan. 

“I’m sorry for that.” Kakuzu finished.

At the time, Hidan knew he was being used but it was nice to get an apology, “I forgive you.” 

“And calling that morning to ask you to go on that trip with me was wrong. I’m sorry for that, too.”  
  
“Why did you want me to go with you?” Hidan had wanted to know for over a week and had a pretty good idea but wanted to hear it from Kakuzu.

“When Karin left us after lunch that day, she had assumed you would be going with me, and made arrangements for you, booking me a larger suite and informing the Sabaku family. I had thought… you could come with me.”  
  
“Yeah? To pretend to be your boyfriend?” Hidan frowned at that, “Deidara was right, it would have been a shitty fucking idea!” 

“It was. I’m glad you didn’t come with me. I was being selfish and wasn’t thinking, I just wanted to see you and spend time with you again. I've missed you and want to get to know you but like normal people do. But after all that couple’s therapy, I don't think it's going to be quite like normal.”  
  
“Oh.” Hidan was quiet and chewed his bottom lip before casting his eyes over to Kakuzu, “I wanted to get to know you, too.” 

The silence stretched between them but it wasn't awkward this time, and Hidan’s eyes eventually landed on the bag, “So, what’s that? Did you get me something on your trip?” He tone indicated he meant it as a joke an was surprised when Kakuzu answered.  
  
“Actually… yes,” Kakuzu said as he reached for it, picking it up, smiling softly when he saw Hidan’s face light up, “Well… it's not really from me, but you were expected to be there and it was a gift from the Sabaku family.”  
  
Hidan reached for it eagerly, “I don’t care who it’s ‘really’ from! Hand that shit over!”  
  
Watching him, Kakuzu wondered when the last time someone got Hidan a gift, and as he held it out for him to take, their fingers brushed and it sent a shock of electricity through him. Hidan must have felt it too because he froze for a moment, a flush coloring his cheeks and throat, and then he grabbed the bag towards himself and dug into it, past the shimmering gold tissue paper. 

Hidan’s hands closed around something soft, and he pulled out a very expensive looking bathrobe. It was the softest thing he had ever touched, and made an appreciative sound. It smelled like expensive, intoxicating perfume, and Hidan inhaled deeply.

“Suna is famous for their cotton production, and oud, which is what you smell. They gave me a bottle. It's a type of perfume,” Kakuzu explained.   
  
Hidan realized that Kakuzu must have had to have sprayed the bathrobe with the perfume he had received and flushed at the thought and Kakuzu seemed to know what he was thinking and cleared his throat, “It has your name embroidered on the front, if you turn it around.” Hidan did so and looked at his name, embroidered on the left side but then looked up at Kakuzu, confused, seeing another name on there with his.

“It uh, has my last name on it because I think they thought we were married. Most likely a miscommunication.” 

Hidan couldn’t help but laugh, “I don’t mind! Who knows, maybe in the future that might just be my last name.” He loved the way Kakuzu’s cheeks darkened at that.

“Getting ahead of yourself there, don’t you think? We haven’t even gone on a date yet.”

“Then take me on one. A real one this time!” 

“When?” Kakuzu asked, leaning towards him.

“Tonight. Or right now. What do you say?” Hidan held his breath and waited.

“Alright, let’s go. An early dinner and some drinks?”  
  
At that, Hidan made a face, “No drinks, I think I had enough for a while.”  
  
“That’s fine, I’d want you sober anyways, because afterwards, we can go back to my place and you can get better acquainted with that tie I wore the first time we met.” 

Hidan felt his cheeks flush and he smiled sweetly at Kakuzu, “I’d like that but it's not happening tonight. I don’t have sex on the first date, it’s against my religion. You want this ass, you have to fucking earn it!”

Silence, and then Kakuzu asked, “You pray to your god with a mouth like that? And since when are you religious?”  
  
Hidan grinned, “Guess you still have a few things to learn about me, don’t you Kakuzu?" But moment later his smile slipped off his face, "It’s not a problem… is it?”

“Not a problem at all, I’ll wait as long as you need me to. Just one thing: don’t try and convert me, and I mean that.”

Hidan made a soft sound and leaned over and placed a lingering kiss on the corner of Kakuzu’s mouth.

“Let’s go have that date.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there was no bed sharing, I wrote this all in one go last weekend and at first Hidan was going to go on the trip but as I continued writing, it just didn't work out that way. I'm sure there will be other business trips Kakuzu can take him on in the future though. And I love Deidara and Hidan being supportive of each other when it comes down to it. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos are appreciated <3 And now to try and work on wips...

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think I've ever written Karin and hope I did alright with her, I like her, she's fun and important to the plot.


End file.
